Yesterday was interesting…
My husband and I had some if the deepest most important conversations we’ve ever had. I truly opened up and told him how deeply I loved him. I compared Christ’s love for his people to our relationship. I think he saw for the first time the hand of God reaching into our lives as a couple (I’ve seen it many times). We talked about Love deeper than Hallmark cards… And I find it interesting that we “know” some people love us that way “ie our parents and spouses” yet we don’t “feel” like anyone loves us that deeply. It truly caused me to question how do you make people “feel” that deep level of love you have for them. It made me wonder if that’s not what Jesus disciples felt like. If so it easy to understand why Peter denies him or Judas betrayed Him. I had never thought of the Gospel with this perspective before. I always thought wow the disciples had it great – they were there with Him!
So as I spent the evening with my husband I prayed for the voices of the world to be removed from my head. I prayed to quit thinking about work, kids, and laundry and just focus on Love. Giving love, receiving love. How often is it that people give us love but we just don’t see it because we don’t feel we are worthy? My favorite line in a song I listen to frequently is “when you believe that God believes in you”.
Heavenly Father, thank you for opening my mind up to these thoughts and understandings so that I may be a better wife, mother, friend and spreader of the Gospel. Thank you for putting me in a job where I am forced to learn to be a leader. I know in the long run this is going to serve your purpose and greater plan for my life. Thank you for loving me so deeply that you want me to struggle in order to grow. Keep breaking down these walls so I may be all you desire me to be. I believe you believe in me because you created me for your divine purpose. Use me God. Use me! Amen.